Thoughts On Direct Sales...

(this is important, y'all!)

This is a touchy subject, and a particularly controversial one right now, it seems. I have seen rants and raves on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter about how annoying it is when people post about their direct sales businesses.

I will admit - I used to be mildly irritated by posts from friends about makeup, candles, jewelry etc. (even though I am a Plexus Ambassador! Talk about hypocritical...)- HOWEVER, someone recently said something to me that really changed my perspective on direct sales posts.

I'm paraphrasing here, but the bottom line was this:

We are walking advertisements for everything we use and like - we tell our friends about that great new drink at Starbucks, the awesome shampoo we just started using on our kids, and the shoes we just got from that discount place online. 

The majority of us are not getting a "cut" of the sales that are made directly from our inadvertent advertising. Wouldn't you rather that one of your friends received some income or benefit from your purchase of a Peppermint Mocha or favorite new shampoo?

So instead of being irritated and 'hiding' those you once interacted with, just scroll past the things that don't interest you, and continue to interact with them normally. :) 

We're Raising Men and Women

There we were, perusing the toddler shoe section at our local Target, finding the pair that I want for Molly in every size BUT her own. I heard two boys in the next aisle over with their mother and grandmother, trying on boys' shoes. 

After hearing the same noise over and over, I peeked through the empty shelf to see what was going on. The older boy (about 6 years old) was sweeping the open boxes of shoes off the shelves and letting them fall wildly onto the floor. My initial reaction was - 'Oh no, that poor mom! She's having a rough time in Target today!'

The grandmother loudly demanded that the boy stop doing that, but neither of the adults turned to look at him, so he continued. I tried to mind my own business, but it was so hard to ignore them! 

The grandmother, once again, raised her voice to the boy - and it did not one lick of good. The mother continued to shoe shop. The boy swept one more box of shoes onto the floor and, as I peered through the shelf again, I saw the grandmother raise her hand and advance towards him, as though hitting him would teach him to behave. 

The boy dodged her hand and yelled, "COME AT ME, OLD LADY." And that's not even the worst part. 

Guys. Guys. Really. This is serious. I'm not making this up. 

The grandmother and the mother laughed.

They laughed! They thought it was FUNNY. He was still angry and sulking, but they LAUGHED.

I bit my tongue and wheeled my cart (and Molly) far, far away. My thoughts were whirling and even now, I get a little worked up about it.

We all have bad days. We have days when our children showcase a special brand of disobedience that they have saved particularly for Target, in front of strangers. Hey, Molly used to whine, "Heeelllppp meeee!" to passersby from her buckled-up spot in the cart. 

The one thought that keeps rushing through my brain is this:

That little boy will grow up to be a man, and he will potentially interact with my little girl when she grows up to be a woman. If this path he is on continues, he will have no respect for women unless they are physically violent to him (so sad) and even then, he may not take them seriously. I feel sadness for that little boy, and sadness for how he may react to the women in his life once he is bigger than they are.

This post is not meant to be a "Shame on you!" to the grandmother and mother of those two boys, although I wish that someone would say that to them, but it also got me thinking about other behaviors we are fostering in our children who will, one day, be men and women.

I am ALL ABOUT letting kids be kids - just for the record- so take these things with a grain of salt and the knowledge that my 2 year old has many habits and personality traits that need to be molded and shaped and corrected before she hits adulthood and I am not necessarily cracking down on anything past the standard 'share your toys and don't scream at me/daddy/everyone who annoys you'. ;-)

And because this was heavy-- I leave with this oh-so-true e-card.

Real Style: Amy

(Scroll over the words to find links to each item!)
Meet Amy - a work-at-home Mom of 2 stinkin' cute kids- from the suburbs of DC. She has a super cool blog and an AWESOME taste in music (hello, she just saw JT in concert. Yep).

 I see this outfit as a take-your-kids-to-the-doctors-office (and let's be honest, Target afterward) outfit.

The jeans are Banana Republic, and you can get similar ones here on an awesome clearance deal.

Here is a similar sweater to what Amy is wearing, available at Kohl's for $27. 

The shoes that Amy is wearing are black Tory Burch 'Reva' flats. They retail for about $225 here, and go with juuuust about any outfit you could possibly imagine.

The scarf was purchased by a friend in Finland, so I'm afraid if you're in love with it - you're fresh outta luck. :-) BUT, lightweight printed scarves are everywhere, so I'm sure you can find one that suits you - for instance, this one from Target for $15:

This second outfit is what Amy refers to as her "work from home but have to run to daycare and want to look like the living" outfit. 

The shoes are the same Tory Burch (see, told you, they go with everything!) flats from above, and the leggings are from Target. I love Target's leggings and have owned probably three or four pair over the past years -- just make sure they stand up to the bent-knee-test. If you can see your skin through them when you bend your knees? Everyone else can see your skin too. ;-) (end legging rant)

The shirt is from Marshall's, but I had some trouble finding one on there, and found this one on Kohl's website that is similar, and for a $10.80! I also found this as a great way to turn this outfit into a Maternity outfit - hello, comfy!!

One thing that rounds out this outfit is Amy's cute bangles and chunky watch. I love to shop at Charming Charlie's for accessories lately, and they have the cutest watches. 

 

So for the last Amy outfit, we're going simple. Cute, springy, perfect for casual parties, church events, or if you're like me - any day of the week (I love dresses!).

I was particularly excited to see Amy in this Target dress, because I've been eyeing up the one in our local Target for a few weeks. :-)

Again, paired with bangles, watch, and cute sandals or flats - you're good to go!! 

A BIG Thank You to Amy for being willing to ransack her closet for me for this challenge. :-)

Real Style: Katheryn

An Introduction to this series: Real Style. I would consider myself a fairly fashionable woman. I like to keep in with current styles and ever since my great hold-out of 2002 (last pre-teen not wearing low rise jeans is the title that I've claimed), I have tried to be willing to be open to new styles. 

I can scroll through Pinterest for hours, pinning cute outfit ideas that I have no idea how to accomplish and getting discouraged when I realize the price tag for accomplishing them. So, I decided to do a few blog posts featuring different body types, different walks of life, and different styles on REAL women, and where to purchase the pieces needed for each outfit, as easily affordable as possible!

This is my friend Katheryn. She's gorgeous, right? Not many women can pull off a relaxed but classy look while THIS pregnant...at least, not on a budget. 

Her necklace is no longer available where she purchased it, so I found a similar style for sale on Etsy!

This is the dress, found at Old Navy. Not every Old Navy has a Maternity section (boooooo), but this can be purchased online for $19! (Reg. price is $36.50, which is still not too bad in the Maternity clothing world!)

I found this listing on Etsy for a shop called MaryAnnsWay. The necklace and earring set is only $13!

Pair this outfit with cute wedges or strappy sandals, and taaa daaa! There ya go!

Pride and the Holidays

The first thing you should know about me is that I LOVE CHRISTMASTIME. I don't even mind when the local radio station starts playing Christmas music more than a month before Christmas. I mean, I don't listen to it 24/7 until after Thanksgiving, but when I need a little Bing Crosby or Nat King Cole fix - it's there.

That being said - one thing that I battle during the holidays is pride. I want to be able to do it all. I want to be the mom with fresh baked Christmas cookies, the advent calendar, the decorations, the presents, the parties, the cards! But guess what? If I am struggling in the day-to-day responsibilities, I should probably take a step back and NOT pre-plan my Christmas morning menu. Maybe I ought to take care of the laundry pile first.

This year, I am purposing to be more laid back. I am a perfectionist by nature and I need to focus on making sure that the basics are taken care of before I jump onto the next Polar Express to decorating my whole house for Christmas. 

Laundry done, bathrooms cleaned, dishes done, dinner on the table. Those are my every day goals. Those have to come before designing the perfect Christmas banner or scouring the Internet for the perfect gift(s) for my husband.

Please don't misunderstand me - those things are important, too - but if I choose to neglect my basic responsibilities, I will become overwhelmed, and eventually will find myself curled up in my bed eating peppermint chocolate M&M's, wrapping Christmas gifts, while my house is in shambles! (This might happen anyway)

Two things I am letting go of this year are:

1. Christmas cards. It just didn't happen, and honestly, I will be glad to have the money I would have spent on cards for gifts!

2. Advent calendar. I had high hopes of making the cutest little calendar with fun little gifts for each day. Thanks, Pinterest, for tempting me. But seriously...Molly won't know the difference this year, so I'm skipping it.

So there you go. I can't do it all during the every day routine, so I need to own the fact that I can't do it all around Christmas either - and I'm not going to make it look like I can, because I think other mothers out there need to know that it's okay if your stockings don't all match and you don't do the most creative Elf on the Shelf ever. Oh, and don't even get me started on Elf on the Shelf.... :-p

Lyme Disease and Productivity

I have Chronic Lyme Disease. I have not had a terrible flare up since I was pregnant with Molly - and man, that one was a doozy! I can say that with some humor now that I am so far removed from this, but the truth is, autoimmune diseases are way more common than you think, and it's not a laughing matter. While the jury is still out on the causes of Lyme Disease and other similar co-infections, I'm sure that a lot of you know that my whole family has been affected in some way or another by Lyme Disease.

My main symptoms are debilitating migraine headaches, arthritis-like symptoms in my joints, low energy, and insomnia. While I am not in a flare up, I still have days where I experience any number of these symptoms for no apparent reason, or sometimes due to humidity/drastic weather change. I should be used to that, I live on the Eastern Shore!!

Lest you be bored by my ramble about medical conditions, there really is a point to all of this! 

One thing that I have learned through all of this is perseverance in productivity. There are days (like today) when my head is pounding, and not even excedrin migraine can 'fix' me back to full power, but if I let myself sink onto the couch for the whole day and not even attempt to be productive, I will start a habit that is not easily broken. The mentality of - "If I waste what little energy I have now, I won't have any if I need it later" is a common one among people who suffer from chronic pain of one kind or another. You conserve energy, just in case. But guess what? That's not productive, and it certainly won't make you feel better.

I used to have a lot of guilt, because sometimes I really can't pull myself out of it, and things would literally be a mess when Patrick got home from work. But as long as those days are few and far between, a little PB&J for dinner never hurt anyone!

The important thing to remember is that if you have the energy: USE IT. You won't regret it. Don't push yourself too far, but by using that energy to be productive, you won't struggle with the guilt of being 'down' later in the day. 

P.s. I'm preaching this to myself. There are days that this whole mentality goes out the window and I lay on the couch and throw myself a giant pity party. :)

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches - A Book Review

This past June, I had the privilege of photographing a wedding with my sister-in-law, Amanda, up in Maine. Or New Hampshire. I can never remember which state we were in...but I digress.

This trip meant that I would be childless for 4 whole days! Including the 8 hour car ride up north! I grabbed a couple of books that I had been planning on reading for months, and guess what? I read every single page of all three books.

This was my favorite. I don't recall who gave the book to me, or why, but WOW - couldn't have read it at a better time in my life. I keep alternating between thinking that I ought to pass the book along to another mama and then thinking that maybe I should keep it around to re-read when I am needing encouragement.

The way that Rachel Jankovic writes makes it so easy to relate to her whether you have one little one, or four, the reality of cheerios being dumped all over the living room (true story, happened last week) is something that I think any mom can identify with.

She really encourages a 'go with the flow' attitude. You can't control every single element in your home because - hello, they are KIDS! BUT, at the same time, it doesn't have to be total chaos. They are human beings and you can teach them!

In the book (early on, actually - page 12!) she says, "I didn't write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't. I know that this is a hard job, because I am right here in the middle of it. I know that you need encouragement every day, because I do too."

I seriously want to send her some fuzzy socks and a chocolate bar for writing this book. 

Thiiiis Is How We Dooooo Itttt!

Listen to the first line of the above song so that you can fully appreciate the title of this blog post. 'Cause that's how I say/sing that sentence in my head every time I say it (I won't tell anyone if you end up listening to the whole song, and then putting it on repeat for the rest of the day).

ANYWAY, back to the original reason for this post -

  Money Making Tips for the Stay At Home Mom!

AND, you really don't have to be a SAHM to do these, either - they just take a few minutes to do!

1. Writer's Domain

This has been my #1 way of contributing to the family, financially, over the past year and a half. I have gone through cycles where I've used it heavily ($300+/month), and some where I only made $20/month. 

You do have to have a basic level of understanding of grammar and writing, and there is a little test in order to qualify to be a writer. It isn't for the faint of heart or the easily bored - these are filler articles with dry (and I mean DRY dry) topics. But if you're dreaming of writing 40 articles about including the line 'dentist in Ontario' - this is right up your alley!

The articles are graded by the reviewers on a scale of 5 stars. Once for grammar, once for content. The average is what determines how much you receive for each article written. Typically, though, you will receive $3.30 for each 200-word article. I have received a couple of 5-star reviews now, but never received $4.00 - still hangin' out at $3.30.

You do have to pay taxes on the articles that you write, and if you make over $600, Writer's Domain will send you a W-4. If not, you can request one. I saved 10% of my earnings last year and it worked out perfectly with what I owed to the IRS. Easy, peasy.

2. I-say by Ipsos - Surveys!

I haven't had a lot of success or rewards with survey taking yet, but it really doesn't take up too much of my time, and I think the rewards will begin to rack up in a couple of months once I build up my points. This website seems to be consistently reputable, and I like that they give you points even if they don't use you for the survey for which you were eligible. You can trade in your points for Amazon gift cards, Visa gift cards, etc.!

3. If you live in our geographical area - Delmarva Sensory!

This is a branch of Perdue that pays $20 (cash!) each time that you come in for a 'taste test'. These are few and far between, but sometimes Patrick and I will both get one in the same week - holla for a dolla (or 40..)! In fact, I just signed us up for one next week. 

If you don't have the privilege of living on the Eastern Shore - look into some places that do food production in your area! I'd bet that they have similar opportunities available!

Keep It Simple

I have been hesitant to post about finances, but I think our generation has a severe lack of understanding what is necessary and what is extra, and maybe it's time to start talking about getting back to the basics.

Before I start explaining what we do and why we do it, I want to be very clear: This is not an attack on anyone else's lifestyle. You can choose to do things differently, and that's just fine. This is meant as an encouragement for those that desire to lower their monthly bills, but feel trapped by the social norms. Annnnd, go:

1. Cellular Devices: People are always shocked that Patrick and I shared a cell phone for the first year+ of our marriage, and we still carry two of the most pre-historic cell phones around. We simply do not need an astronomical cell phone bill due to bells, whistles, and data charges. Since just about everywhere has free wi-fi, we did invest in a Samsung Galaxy Tablet this year without the data plan. 

2. Housing: We just moved into our first actual house. It's still a rental, but until now, we've lived places that were not our ideal, simply because we believe it is better to save your money for the right opportunity rather than spend what you don't have in order to live somewhere 'comfortable'. I consider doing laundry in my own home a luxury and a privilege.

3. Good Credit: While it is an asset to have 'good credit', credit card companies reel you in by making you think that you NEED to have a credit card to build 'good credit'. There is a way to keep a credit card responsibly, but it is also a slippery slope and once you start to charge things like a Venti Double Triple Espresso Mocha Caramel Whipped Soy Latte (that probably doesn't exist, but if it did, it would be called the 'I Have A Newborn') because you don't really have money for it in your bank account -- there is a problem. 

4. Television: We have never had TV channels anywhere that we've lived. In fact, our television is so old that it isn't compatible with even the three "basic" channels that everyone is supposed to get for free. We don't actually watch a whole lot of TV anyway, so we mostly use it for movies - but one awesome thing is Netflix! We can watch Netflix streaming through our Wii, and while we may have to be the LAST people to see the final season of The Office - oh well! It's not really the end of the world!

5. Kids Cost A Lot: This is true. My hospital bills were astronomical. Diapers cost an arm & a leg. BUT, I think that people inflate in their minds what is "necessary" for babies/children based on what the media tells us. Do we really need everything in Babies R Us to keep our babies well fed, safe, and happy? Thanks to the generosity of friends and family, I received LOTS of awesome things for Molly at my baby shower, and we saved gift cards to help purchase the things that we still needed. I almost never purchase things new from a store. I always check yard sales, consignment shops, and online for anything from clothing to toys to yes, even diapers! And lets be honest, Molly would prefer to play with a toilet paper tube and some packing peanuts over most of her toys anyway.

This blog post took me about a week to complete, working in 10 minute intervals. I'm trying out this new thing where I limit my time on the Internet while Molly is napping..you know, to help with my productivity. ;-) At any rate, the next post will not take this long to go up...it's already in process!

A Tiny Challenge

I may have alluded to this before, or you may have met and observed this about Molly in person...or maybe you don't know at all, but I have a daughter with a very strong will! She is not laid back, she throws temper tantrums that 2 year old children would be envious of, and she is sassy as can be.

I would not have her any other way!

I knew pretty early on that she was going to be a Tiny Challenge. She picks up on things very quickly, and was mobile at a very young age. She is the child that scopes out where all the plug sockets are in a room within 10 seconds of entering.

This type of personality is a blessing and a curse, just like any. Yes, she is mobile and tends to go straight for the "No no" items in a room, throws royal fits (complete with head flinging and body limping -- speaking of which, I might have a black eye in the morning), smacks me right in my face when I tell her "no", and all out SCREAMS if I am not doing something quickly enough for her liking...but....

She is also extremely loving. She gives kisses and hugs and pat/scratches my back. She tries to wipe my nose with tissues and feed me some of her snacks. She is a very good communicator and between pointing and gesturing and making little noises (sometimes almost words!), I usually know exactly what it is that she would like to be doing.

I am learning to choose my battles early. Yes, lovey girl, we must put pants on...society and Mommy declare that it is necessary, and no amount of fit-throwing will change that fact. But ripping up the tissue into a thousand pieces and handing it to me (saying, "Here") while I write this blog? I'm not gonna fight that one today. :-)

My "Tiny Challenge":

A "Pinterest Minute"

Don't even try and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about here, ladies. You think to yourself-  "hey, I'll just get on Pinterest reaaaaaal fast...for just a minute...and then I'll do [insert productive activity here]."

No. Just no. It doesn't happen. Unless I can somehow program my computer to turn off and be unable to be revived after a "minute" is up, it will probably never happen that I will just hop on Pinterest for a "minute". 

I wish I did other things like I do Pinterest - "hey, I'll just do laundry for a "minute". WHOA! How'd all the laundry get done in just a "minute"??!!"

"I think I'll bake something for a "minute"....what?!?! My time's up?! I baked us out of house and home and it was only a "minute"!!!"

I say this jokingly, but there is truth behind it. 

I have recently begun to use Pinterest as a sort of reward (call it like it is...BRIBE) for tasks that I don't particularly enjoy doing. 

Example: Do XYZ. When that is COMPLETED, you get five minutes on Pinterest. 

The problem is that I still have trouble ONLY browsing for 5 minutes! In my head, I feel like I'm talking to (myself) a 4 year old! "Okay, Mackenzee...three more scrolls and then you will click the X and go back to being productive."

Pray for me as I try to enforce my own rules with myself and become a more productive wife/mother/human being...

Never Say Never

No, I'm not referring to a song by The Biebs...although, I will unashamedly admit my adoration for that particular tune. ;-)

You know the things that you say before you're pregnant/have a baby? The ones judging other mothers' parenting choices? The ones that are start off with, "I will never ever ever ever do _________" Yeah, that kind.

Never say never.

You will eat your words...daily. And it will be such a humbling experience. 

I'm not talking about judging others for things that may harm their children's safety. If you see somebody feed their baby a bottle of orange Fanta, while screaming curse words, then driving away with the baby in their lap in the Walmart parking lot? BY ALL MEANS, JUDGE AWAY. (and then pray for them!)

I'm talking about these:

I will never ever ever go to the store at 9pm wearing yoga pants.

I will never ever ever let my baby sleep in bed with me. all night.

I will never ever ever pacify my child with food to make them stop crying.

Even as I write this blog post, I'm thinking of examples and banishing them from this post with the thought - "But, I really would never do that! "

I've done all of the above. And she's only been here for 8 1/2 months. Granted, the yoga pants were post-partum, and I was tired of maternity pants!

Anyway, I write this as an encouragement. It's okay to do (some of) the things you vowed you'd never do.

(But for the record, my child will never ever ever play in the play-place in the Mall.)

(No, really. Never ever.)

"THAT Mom"

Since high school (or at least, somewhere in that time frame), I've always prayed that God would help me not to be "THAT Mom" when I grow up. Don't even act like you don't know what I'm talking about. We all have someone in mind. No matter how much we love them...they are still "THAT Mom", and we cringe a little when they go on the prowl!

But let's be honest with ourselves, ladies. We are all "THAT Mom", sometimes. There is no way to perfectly guard against it! The best that we can do is surround ourselves with family and friends who will brave the fire-breathing dragon that is "THAT Mom" to let us know when it's time to reel in the rod of unwanted opinions, facts, and lengthy stories about our children's milestones.

All through my pregnancy, I would get so annoyed with older moms telling me "just wait til..." or "it goes so fast!", or even telling me all kinds of labor stories, tips, and tricks. 

Now, looking back, I appreciate the love and support from those mothers, but when you're 5 days past due and feeling like you could rival a beached whale, you just want to scream every time someone says, "Oh, she just needs longer to cook!" <--- No. She's being an evil newborn who hates her mother before she's ever been born. (<--- I know that isn't actually true, but, that's really what you feel in the moment. :-)

Being on the "other side" now, I often say to my husband, "I can't believe I almost typed to her that it's going to go SO fast!" (Speaking about commenting on my pregnant friends' statuses on Facebook, of course.)

I get up in arms about car seat laws, outraged when someone is prohibited from breastfeeding in public, and giddy at the sight of a coupon that will save me BIG bucks on diapers. My daughter passes gas during the most inappropriate (albeit hilarious) times, reaches little milestones like... you know, licking the windows, and is 30-something weeks old (come on, now, just say almost 8 months!). I don't post these things on Facebook, not because it isn't important to me, but as a deterrent for myself, so that I will not be tempted to be....you guessed it... "THAT Mom".

Wait...is me writing this post being "THAT Mom"???