We're Raising Men and Women

There we were, perusing the toddler shoe section at our local Target, finding the pair that I want for Molly in every size BUT her own. I heard two boys in the next aisle over with their mother and grandmother, trying on boys' shoes. 

After hearing the same noise over and over, I peeked through the empty shelf to see what was going on. The older boy (about 6 years old) was sweeping the open boxes of shoes off the shelves and letting them fall wildly onto the floor. My initial reaction was - 'Oh no, that poor mom! She's having a rough time in Target today!'

The grandmother loudly demanded that the boy stop doing that, but neither of the adults turned to look at him, so he continued. I tried to mind my own business, but it was so hard to ignore them! 

The grandmother, once again, raised her voice to the boy - and it did not one lick of good. The mother continued to shoe shop. The boy swept one more box of shoes onto the floor and, as I peered through the shelf again, I saw the grandmother raise her hand and advance towards him, as though hitting him would teach him to behave. 

The boy dodged her hand and yelled, "COME AT ME, OLD LADY." And that's not even the worst part. 

Guys. Guys. Really. This is serious. I'm not making this up. 

The grandmother and the mother laughed.

They laughed! They thought it was FUNNY. He was still angry and sulking, but they LAUGHED.

I bit my tongue and wheeled my cart (and Molly) far, far away. My thoughts were whirling and even now, I get a little worked up about it.

We all have bad days. We have days when our children showcase a special brand of disobedience that they have saved particularly for Target, in front of strangers. Hey, Molly used to whine, "Heeelllppp meeee!" to passersby from her buckled-up spot in the cart. 

The one thought that keeps rushing through my brain is this:

That little boy will grow up to be a man, and he will potentially interact with my little girl when she grows up to be a woman. If this path he is on continues, he will have no respect for women unless they are physically violent to him (so sad) and even then, he may not take them seriously. I feel sadness for that little boy, and sadness for how he may react to the women in his life once he is bigger than they are.

This post is not meant to be a "Shame on you!" to the grandmother and mother of those two boys, although I wish that someone would say that to them, but it also got me thinking about other behaviors we are fostering in our children who will, one day, be men and women.

I am ALL ABOUT letting kids be kids - just for the record- so take these things with a grain of salt and the knowledge that my 2 year old has many habits and personality traits that need to be molded and shaped and corrected before she hits adulthood and I am not necessarily cracking down on anything past the standard 'share your toys and don't scream at me/daddy/everyone who annoys you'. ;-)

And because this was heavy-- I leave with this oh-so-true e-card.

Thiiiis Is How We Dooooo Itttt!

Listen to the first line of the above song so that you can fully appreciate the title of this blog post. 'Cause that's how I say/sing that sentence in my head every time I say it (I won't tell anyone if you end up listening to the whole song, and then putting it on repeat for the rest of the day).

ANYWAY, back to the original reason for this post -

  Money Making Tips for the Stay At Home Mom!

AND, you really don't have to be a SAHM to do these, either - they just take a few minutes to do!

1. Writer's Domain

This has been my #1 way of contributing to the family, financially, over the past year and a half. I have gone through cycles where I've used it heavily ($300+/month), and some where I only made $20/month. 

You do have to have a basic level of understanding of grammar and writing, and there is a little test in order to qualify to be a writer. It isn't for the faint of heart or the easily bored - these are filler articles with dry (and I mean DRY dry) topics. But if you're dreaming of writing 40 articles about including the line 'dentist in Ontario' - this is right up your alley!

The articles are graded by the reviewers on a scale of 5 stars. Once for grammar, once for content. The average is what determines how much you receive for each article written. Typically, though, you will receive $3.30 for each 200-word article. I have received a couple of 5-star reviews now, but never received $4.00 - still hangin' out at $3.30.

You do have to pay taxes on the articles that you write, and if you make over $600, Writer's Domain will send you a W-4. If not, you can request one. I saved 10% of my earnings last year and it worked out perfectly with what I owed to the IRS. Easy, peasy.

2. I-say by Ipsos - Surveys!

I haven't had a lot of success or rewards with survey taking yet, but it really doesn't take up too much of my time, and I think the rewards will begin to rack up in a couple of months once I build up my points. This website seems to be consistently reputable, and I like that they give you points even if they don't use you for the survey for which you were eligible. You can trade in your points for Amazon gift cards, Visa gift cards, etc.!

3. If you live in our geographical area - Delmarva Sensory!

This is a branch of Perdue that pays $20 (cash!) each time that you come in for a 'taste test'. These are few and far between, but sometimes Patrick and I will both get one in the same week - holla for a dolla (or 40..)! In fact, I just signed us up for one next week. 

If you don't have the privilege of living on the Eastern Shore - look into some places that do food production in your area! I'd bet that they have similar opportunities available!

Keep It Simple

I have been hesitant to post about finances, but I think our generation has a severe lack of understanding what is necessary and what is extra, and maybe it's time to start talking about getting back to the basics.

Before I start explaining what we do and why we do it, I want to be very clear: This is not an attack on anyone else's lifestyle. You can choose to do things differently, and that's just fine. This is meant as an encouragement for those that desire to lower their monthly bills, but feel trapped by the social norms. Annnnd, go:

1. Cellular Devices: People are always shocked that Patrick and I shared a cell phone for the first year+ of our marriage, and we still carry two of the most pre-historic cell phones around. We simply do not need an astronomical cell phone bill due to bells, whistles, and data charges. Since just about everywhere has free wi-fi, we did invest in a Samsung Galaxy Tablet this year without the data plan. 

2. Housing: We just moved into our first actual house. It's still a rental, but until now, we've lived places that were not our ideal, simply because we believe it is better to save your money for the right opportunity rather than spend what you don't have in order to live somewhere 'comfortable'. I consider doing laundry in my own home a luxury and a privilege.

3. Good Credit: While it is an asset to have 'good credit', credit card companies reel you in by making you think that you NEED to have a credit card to build 'good credit'. There is a way to keep a credit card responsibly, but it is also a slippery slope and once you start to charge things like a Venti Double Triple Espresso Mocha Caramel Whipped Soy Latte (that probably doesn't exist, but if it did, it would be called the 'I Have A Newborn') because you don't really have money for it in your bank account -- there is a problem. 

4. Television: We have never had TV channels anywhere that we've lived. In fact, our television is so old that it isn't compatible with even the three "basic" channels that everyone is supposed to get for free. We don't actually watch a whole lot of TV anyway, so we mostly use it for movies - but one awesome thing is Netflix! We can watch Netflix streaming through our Wii, and while we may have to be the LAST people to see the final season of The Office - oh well! It's not really the end of the world!

5. Kids Cost A Lot: This is true. My hospital bills were astronomical. Diapers cost an arm & a leg. BUT, I think that people inflate in their minds what is "necessary" for babies/children based on what the media tells us. Do we really need everything in Babies R Us to keep our babies well fed, safe, and happy? Thanks to the generosity of friends and family, I received LOTS of awesome things for Molly at my baby shower, and we saved gift cards to help purchase the things that we still needed. I almost never purchase things new from a store. I always check yard sales, consignment shops, and online for anything from clothing to toys to yes, even diapers! And lets be honest, Molly would prefer to play with a toilet paper tube and some packing peanuts over most of her toys anyway.

This blog post took me about a week to complete, working in 10 minute intervals. I'm trying out this new thing where I limit my time on the Internet while Molly is napping..you know, to help with my productivity. ;-) At any rate, the next post will not take this long to go up...it's already in process!

It Happens in Threes

This past weekend was anything but uneventful, and not particularly in the way that I had hoped!

We went to visit some friends in the DC area for a birthday party, but on the way back, it began to snow, and (long, long, long story short) we ended up completely turned around in downtown DC, in the snow, for almost 2 hours. I had assumed the GPS was in the car somewhere, and hadn't checked before we left earlier that morning. Ugh, total fail on my part! Mad props to my sister-in-law Amanda for not whining (too much anyway) about seeing the Washington Monument from just about every angle...twice.

The next morning, bright and early, my beloved almost-one-year-old (yikes!) smacked me in the eye with an iPod touch. My first child induced black eye. Thanks, kid! I tried to cover it up with makeup, but it just ended up brown/blue..and sparkly.

Next, we discovered around 5pm that our keys had been stolen earlier in the day. Yet another very long story short, we were unable to retrieve them, although we were/are fairly certain we know where they are. Thankfully, we have family that is willing to step up and take us in on short notice for a couple of days while we wait for our replacement vehicle key and for the locks to be changed on our house. Sigh.

The main purpose to this post is this: Have you ever heard of the saying that bad things happen in threes? I heard it maybe a year ago, and since then, I have had several rounds of "3" fall into my lap. My question is, do I notice that things happen in threes because I heard that phrase, or do things really happen in threes? Hmmm...food for thought.

Resolutions

I could probably count on one hand the amount of New Years Resolutions that I have made, and even fewer that I have kept. Part of the reason that I don't actually make the traditional January 1st resolutions is because I know that I will have trouble keeping them, then will feel guilty every time that I think about it...but not guilty enough to do anything about it.

So when Patrick asked me yesterday what my resolutions were going to be this year, I jokingly said, "Move into a house!" He says that is not a resolution, but rather it is a goal. I guess I always pictured them as being the same, but it made me think (we have a lot of time to think, driving 45 minutes each way every day).

I could probably list a bunch of goals that every woman in America could relate to:

- Exercise more frequently
- Cook healthier meals
- Keep my house tidy
- Spend less money

BUT, the fact is, in a few weeks, I probably will have (mostly) forgotten about these goals as I step back into the daily crazy balance of my life with Molly.

Those, of course, are excuses - because I know that if I made time to exercise, I could. And if I really wanted to spend less money, I probably could.

So instead, this year, I am purposing to be honest with myself about the time that I have and be more wise with how I use it. It is amazing how many things one can accomplish during nap time...or not accomplish.

A "Pinterest Minute"

Don't even try and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about here, ladies. You think to yourself-  "hey, I'll just get on Pinterest reaaaaaal fast...for just a minute...and then I'll do [insert productive activity here]."

No. Just no. It doesn't happen. Unless I can somehow program my computer to turn off and be unable to be revived after a "minute" is up, it will probably never happen that I will just hop on Pinterest for a "minute". 

I wish I did other things like I do Pinterest - "hey, I'll just do laundry for a "minute". WHOA! How'd all the laundry get done in just a "minute"??!!"

"I think I'll bake something for a "minute"....what?!?! My time's up?! I baked us out of house and home and it was only a "minute"!!!"

I say this jokingly, but there is truth behind it. 

I have recently begun to use Pinterest as a sort of reward (call it like it is...BRIBE) for tasks that I don't particularly enjoy doing. 

Example: Do XYZ. When that is COMPLETED, you get five minutes on Pinterest. 

The problem is that I still have trouble ONLY browsing for 5 minutes! In my head, I feel like I'm talking to (myself) a 4 year old! "Okay, Mackenzee...three more scrolls and then you will click the X and go back to being productive."

Pray for me as I try to enforce my own rules with myself and become a more productive wife/mother/human being...