We're Raising Men and Women

There we were, perusing the toddler shoe section at our local Target, finding the pair that I want for Molly in every size BUT her own. I heard two boys in the next aisle over with their mother and grandmother, trying on boys' shoes. 

After hearing the same noise over and over, I peeked through the empty shelf to see what was going on. The older boy (about 6 years old) was sweeping the open boxes of shoes off the shelves and letting them fall wildly onto the floor. My initial reaction was - 'Oh no, that poor mom! She's having a rough time in Target today!'

The grandmother loudly demanded that the boy stop doing that, but neither of the adults turned to look at him, so he continued. I tried to mind my own business, but it was so hard to ignore them! 

The grandmother, once again, raised her voice to the boy - and it did not one lick of good. The mother continued to shoe shop. The boy swept one more box of shoes onto the floor and, as I peered through the shelf again, I saw the grandmother raise her hand and advance towards him, as though hitting him would teach him to behave. 

The boy dodged her hand and yelled, "COME AT ME, OLD LADY." And that's not even the worst part. 

Guys. Guys. Really. This is serious. I'm not making this up. 

The grandmother and the mother laughed.

They laughed! They thought it was FUNNY. He was still angry and sulking, but they LAUGHED.

I bit my tongue and wheeled my cart (and Molly) far, far away. My thoughts were whirling and even now, I get a little worked up about it.

We all have bad days. We have days when our children showcase a special brand of disobedience that they have saved particularly for Target, in front of strangers. Hey, Molly used to whine, "Heeelllppp meeee!" to passersby from her buckled-up spot in the cart. 

The one thought that keeps rushing through my brain is this:

That little boy will grow up to be a man, and he will potentially interact with my little girl when she grows up to be a woman. If this path he is on continues, he will have no respect for women unless they are physically violent to him (so sad) and even then, he may not take them seriously. I feel sadness for that little boy, and sadness for how he may react to the women in his life once he is bigger than they are.

This post is not meant to be a "Shame on you!" to the grandmother and mother of those two boys, although I wish that someone would say that to them, but it also got me thinking about other behaviors we are fostering in our children who will, one day, be men and women.

I am ALL ABOUT letting kids be kids - just for the record- so take these things with a grain of salt and the knowledge that my 2 year old has many habits and personality traits that need to be molded and shaped and corrected before she hits adulthood and I am not necessarily cracking down on anything past the standard 'share your toys and don't scream at me/daddy/everyone who annoys you'. ;-)

And because this was heavy-- I leave with this oh-so-true e-card.