Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Top Ten Things You Will Cry About Post-Partum


1. Everything

Okay, okay... I'm just kidding. But I bet if you asked my husband what I cried about in the weeks following Molly's birth, that would be his answer - and to his credit, he dealt with the extreme emotions beautifully.

The REAL List:

1. The sudden quadruple of your stretch marks (in various places!) that you so carefully 'avoided' with a dutiful application of cocoa butter throughout your pregnancy.

2. When you finally lay the baby down. She's sleeping peacefully. You only have about 15 minutes, maximum. You start to cry because...you can't decide if you should shower, use the bathroom, eat, or sleep!

3. The first time you step on the scale post-partum. 

4. Your baby's umbilical cord falls off on Day 4. The doctor said 8-14 days, and it fell off on DAY FOUR so obviously you did something horribly wrong!!!!!!! <--- I may be saying this from experience.

5. Post-Partum = Payback for 9+ months of no Aunt Flo. Sorry. It had to be said.

6. Milk. It doesn't matter what the circumstance - spilled, too much, too little, too hot, too cold - it'll be cried over.

7. Summer is clearly approaching more quickly than it does other years, simply because you can't imagine wearing a bathing suit right now.

8. You're pretty sure that you'll be bald in a matter of weeks. Maybe days.

9. Your husband looked at you funny/the wrong way/normal.

10. She's already not a newborn anymoooooooooore!

This is by no means a complete list of what I, personally, cried over in those first weeks (ahem, months...) but I hope that others can identify with, and maybe even laugh a little over, the above list. It's normal. I think.

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